中文
A good way to practice Ding Sum is to do it before, during, and after a
situation. When we Ding Sum before a situation, we calm down in advance
and think of a plan for a helpful response. When we Ding Sum during a
situation, we stop our reactions right then and there, so we can think
clearly and make better decisions. When we Ding Sum after a situation,
we stop the negative reactions that linger. We continue to calm down
and think of ways to improve our response for the next time a similar
situation occurs.
Before
When we Ding Sum before the situation, we can prepare ourselves
in advance. Arm ourselves with a better approach that will help the
situation. For example, if we often argue with a particular person, we
can use Ding Sum before we see that person, to prepare ourselves to
listen and compromise in order to calmly work things out.
During
When we Ding Sum during the situation, we stop our reactions on
the spot and silence the upset thoughts as soon as we recognize them.
For example, if our reaction to a situation is to get mad because we
don’t like something, Ding Sum immediately, when we first have the
thought or feeling of “I don’t like it”. Ding Sum stops that reaction
so that it doesn’t blow up into anger. Then, we can decide on a course
of action to best resolve the situation.
After
When we Ding Sum after the situation, we stop the negative
thoughts that linger, the ones that give us residual stress long after
the situation is over. Maybe we remember the hurtful words someone
said to us and we’re still angry. Ding Sum helps us stop these angry
thoughts so we can calm down. Then we can review the situation to find
out how we did, what went wrong and what went right. Think of a
better way to handle the situation the next time it occurs.
Bottom Line
So, when should we Ding Sum? Ultimately, the goal is to use
Ding Sum whenever we make a decision, because it is with each decision
that we determine the outcome of a situation. If we just react to
situations based on how we feel, we react without thinking and without
looking at the facts. Then it’s easy to end up doing something that
makes matters worse, like getting mad and walking out. Instead, when
we Ding Sum, we stop personal biases that cloud our thinking. We stop
exaggerating details that add to or subtract from what really
happened. Then we can clearly see the situation and assess all the
facts as they really are. We make good decisions based on solid
information. As we constantly make decisions throughout the day, we
Ding Sum throughout the day. Then, one at a time, we change each
inappropriate reaction into a thoughtful decision, to help every
situation that pops up in our day.