中文
FIVE STEPS OF DING SUM
There are 5 steps to the process of Ding Sum. Each step flows naturally
into the next, and each step is important as it sets the foundation for
the steps that follow. Ding Sum guides us through the process of
reducing stress by helping us to carefully think things through. When
we follow the steps of Ding Sum, we can make good decisions and do
something to help a situation.
- 1. Stop – Calm down. Stop all our thoughts to quiet our reactions.
- 2. Assess – Review all the facts of the situation. Find out what is truly going on.
- 3. Decide – Decide what we will do to help the situation and benefit all involved.
- 4. Do – Follow through on our decision and do it.
- 5. Re-evaluate – Review what we did and how it turned out. Look for how we can improve for the next time.
STOP AND CALM DOWN
The first step is stop. Once we catch ourselves having a negative
thought and reacting to a situation, simply silence our thoughts and
stop for 3 seconds. The sooner we stop our reaction, the faster we can
get a grip on ourselves and calm down. Stopping is critical because it
prevents us from doing things in the same old negative way. Instead, we
can deliberately change course and make a positive change. Stopping
also removes the reactions that bias our judgment.
ASSESS - THE WHOLE PICTURE
The second step is assess. The first step of stop helped us calm down
and remove our personal biases. Now we are ready to look at all the
facts of the situation. With a clear open mind, we thoroughly consider
all the information. Who is involved? What are they really saying?
What do they want? How can I help? Make sure the facts are solid
undistorted facts, not speculation or opinion. When we actively ask
questions to find out details, we get a more complete picture of what is
happening. Then when we try to come up with real alternatives to help a
situation, we are working with good unbiased information that leaves
nothing out.
DECIDE -FOR THE BENEFIT OF EVERYONE
The third step is decide. Now that we have calmly assessed the
situation and looked at all the facts, we create options and decide on
the best way to handle the situation. To help us make a good decision,
Ding Sum uses the guideline of “for the benefit of everyone.” This
guideline helps us decide what to do based on the goal of benefitting
everyone involved including ourselves. In order to benefit everyone, we
must consider other people and their point of view. Then, figure out
what we can do that is most helpful and appropriate. When we decide to
benefit everyone, our decisions are directed towards positive actions,
as we help others, solve problems, and decrease stress.
DO - FOLLOW THROUGH WITH ACTION
The fourth step is do. We have stopped our reactions, calmly assessed
the situation, and decided on a way to benefit everyone. Now it’s time
to do it. Carry through that good decision to good action. Maybe
it’s taking the time to really help someone. Maybe it’s being flexible
and following through with that apology to clear the air and work things
out. The point is that in order to resolve the situation, we have to
do the good decision. Otherwise, the situation is left still brewing,
just waiting to explode. The best way to solve a situation is to do
something helpful, right then and there, so the stress doesn’t pile up
and overwhelm us. If we take care of each problem as it comes up, we
can remain calm throughout the day. Then we make real progress towards
changing ourselves and we reduce stress for ourselves and others around
us.
RE-EVALUATE AND LEARN
The fifth and last step is re-evaluate. What was the outcome of our
decision and the actions we took? If we made a mistake and things
didn’t go well, we learn from what went wrong and determine how we can
handle it better next time. If things went well, we learn what we did
right and determine how we can improve and do even better.
When we re-evaluate, we also review how we did the first four steps of
Ding Sum. Did we just react or did we remember to stop and think? Did
we consider all the facts? What did we miss? How did things turn out?
What can we do better? Re-evaluation helps us learn from our mistakes
as well as our successes. Re-evaluation is important because it helps
us keep learning so we always improve. It prepares us for the next day,
the next hour, and even the next moment as we gain new information for
how to use Ding Sum better.
When we first learn to Ding Sum, it takes time to use all 5 steps.
We’re not used to thinking according to steps and we may have trouble
just remembering to use it. But with effort, practice and experience,
it gets easier to use Ding Sum. The steps start to flow more naturally
and quickly. In fact, our goal is to use all the steps in 3 seconds.
Ding Sum in 3 seconds can go a long way in reducing stress. By stopping
our negative reactions and doing something helpful instead, we prevent
potentially troubling situations from erupting.
Practicing Ding Sum is about trying. The more we try, the more
experience we have, the better we get, and one day, Ding Sum can become
our natural way of thinking as we reduce our stress each and every day.